I grew up a king of screw ups Find me in grandview Sitting amongst the crowd Look around all I see is pawns and bishops Make your move nigga hope it's the right one We know them dogs waiting for us to slip up Waiting to catch us  I don't know if it's my paranoia But it's more snakes around us Rappers dying everyday I pray I'm not next up Just understand if I call you my brother I'll risk jail for ya  I'll risk my ownself for ya I love yo momma like my momma too And yo siblings man I'm down for you Just be aware  If you fail me You should be very scared  If I stop speaking just know I'm bringing hell Apologies I'm caught up in myself With all these philosophies around me I'm concerned with my wealth I'm concerned for my health I have trouble talking bout my problems To me that's alarming I can't go to sleep because my mind on war time I used to think all the bad would blow by Used to be in those layup lines just tryna take flight I wanna do right  I find peace when I pick up the pen and I begin to write talk about my life What I've been through Like the time When I didn't have food Only a dollar to my name  I'm staying at friends Oh and I got finals too Tryna make it through highschool Geometry wasn't my only issue Trapped in a circle I was tryna get loose The lawyers were saying the same thing What's new? Tryna force me to see my pops  They had some screws loose To the social worker who threatened me with jail Bitch fuck you Looking how far we done came Even though we changed Things still feel the same I feel like I can never have friends only family Because niggas say they there But they plot on me early I feel like I can't say what's on my brain The only time I can say how feel Is in between 16 bars If you wanna know what's really real I want something that lasts longer than a sports car More expensive then the most blinged out chain Better than having a hunid thousand in the tuck What I really want is to feel loved I'm come from a place where roses don't grow To make it's like you gotta sell yo soul I'm from a place filled with ghosts Some of them alive  But they dead inside Have me questioning is this really right Last time we was high on life I was like 15  Ambitions set on finer things In and out of court  I was Dribbling like cp3  If I could grow wings  I would fly like Jordan Everytime I jump  I land hard on the concrete I'm having flashbacks Momma quit calling me Clearly you didn't see what I seen That bruise on my back Oh yeah that was just make believe See as for y'all I'm tryna paint the picture Step into my shoes  I swear it gets Claritin clear I Preserved, peep the atmosphere No one can interfere I feel like it's my rookie year I'm destined for the stratosphere Failure ain't an option And it ain't my biggest fear I'm scared to put myself out here For in fear that I'll be forgotten I'm scared to share my pain Because every time I've opened up  Someone left me scared I'm calling out for love but it feels so far I'm sharing my thoughts  I hope this made you stop and listen Thank you for your time This my autobiography

Arms to skinny to hold the block I found comfort in my dreams While niggas was hustling in the streets I studied the heartbeats Watching mother's crying only time they see there sons  Is in there memory Who knew maybe homie  Could have left a legacy  This world filled with treachery Ways on me mentally Wake every morning I got check my energy Never no know  When niggas might take the best of me All my niggas want to do is make history If we would make it past the summer That's another victory If we survive  Maybe we can take a ride In that all black infinity Level up and maybe we can drive the benze Wake up to reality I lost my Friend  He died in an accident I'm reminded why I hate my environment If this keeps up I'ma start acting violent I'm wondering if there more to life than crying How many times? I sit up here and try and ease my mind We get high We just tryna find a light on the other side I wanna stay alive And I don't know if I'll make it this time How many times? How many times? I sit up here and try and ease my mind We get high We just tryna find a light on the other side I wanna stay alive And I don't know if I'll make it this time How many times? I get tired of seeing death Turn on the news this shit a mess We worried bout what the president tweeting Mean while another kid ain't eating exposed to demons as teens Wonder why we tryna find peace We were sold dreams of owning beams Manifest destiny we can grab anything Run that back As long as I got that gat We can have anything Pull up on him an start squeezing Medics tried heal him But he stopped breathing Crazy cuz homie was posed to be something Sitting in the hood Wondering when it's the end for me I wonder if I'm here because some sins  that went unforgiving from the most high Days I wanna cry  I look up to the sky and see the sun What a wonderful view

Where Y'all been at? Y'all were posed to be here I needed Y'all Of course its all on me Its all my fault The fuck is this bullshit? I'm sick of it Fuck Can I talk my shit  Running round town with a tape on my hip Thinking bout the niggas we was with Any problems we can straighten it quick Any nigga hatin You can suck my dick Back when emotions ran high You know it was like the summertime Chilling on the porch Until it was time to hide Red truck drive by It's go bye bye Or stay looking from the sky On my momma I was tryna get by A whole lot of dreams Just tryna touch the sky If I could I'd fly from this place  I'd never look back Cuz living in the trap I'm destined to snap I was raised better than to throw up a set In mind I feel like I got no time left Might as well have my fun before I end up dead No matter what the color is When the lead hits the flesh we all see red Aye can I talk my shit Ride around town with a tape on my hip Ugh my flow so sick A lot of niggas hating you can suck my dick When I open my mouth It's like your ears on silence It's they're no where to be found Aye can I talk my shit? Can I talk my shit? Aye can I talk my shit Sitting in the crib all pissed What's the risk involved? Lately I been wondering how many done fall Was it worth it at all? Cuz all this pain got a nigga wondering if I'll ever get far I hate showing these scars I hate having to stand tall The only time I'm free is when there's alcohol I can numb it all I'm not home please don't call This depression has me gone When it's time to talk But y'all don't listen and that's cool I could be calling out for help But y'all probably skipped this song

Ok I'm pissed off Shit talk Chalk all over the blacktop I'm ticked off  Ease up  Next moment you might be squeezed off This too raw  I'm clocked out  Israel clocked in I'm too numb  Too done Venom running through my vains  I'm grusome In the mood do something Niggas keep testing me Let em rest in peace I'm wrestling with this piece Prolly end up on the news this week Homicide never my motif Oh wait see Oh Shit I've been tripping on my own this week PTSD my survival feat Seen 3 niggas on the corner last week Pretty sure they clocking me I ain't stacking a bunch of cream Just a lil something to eat Police be tailing me Raising my anxiety They think a nigga deal in criminal activity I'm just making deliveries I made a left they still following me They circled around the block Two white cops  I can see it in there eyes  They ain't here to talk I'm feeling pissed off Too gone Israel got control So it's too far, too raw Running through the jungle I see evil at every corner And it's no law, no wrongs Survival of the fittest  I hope you ain't a shook one  Look son  Two types of people in this world The robber or the victim Make yo decision I'm boxed in  Death stalking Can't sleep  Cuz I hear they talking I'm caught again I can't let go I'm focused I notice every single move so watch how you approach  This is every reason why I shouldn't pistol tote I'm close to exploding Man walking up to me  Don't look like a friend But I'm stuck in place I can't lie I'm frightened Having thoughts about my past  When my life was threatened  I only got a second Gotta make a decision Cuz if this foe wants what's mine I gotta smoke him before I go  Aim the pistol and let it blow Gun in my hand  its jammed I can't pull the trigger man is getting close He raises his ready to strike And then  Nothing I'm laying in bed  My sheets are soaked  All it was my PTSD playing tricks on me I'm struggling to cope I'm feeling pissed off Too gone Israel got control So it's too far, too raw Running through the jungle I see evil at every corner And it's no law, no wrongs Survival of the fittest  I hope you ain't a shook one  Look son  Two types of people in this world The robber or the victim Make yo decision